What am I going to do?

    For as long as I live, I've always been wondering what I am supposed to do, what I am capable of, and what I want to do. Even with that very long time, I haven't found my purpose yet. I love doing a lot of things, but I'm not sure if I'm willing to do it for the rest of my life, or even long enough to master it. Of course, there are some things that I'm very interested in. Things like drawing, writing, reading about humans, psychology, personalities, and many more. I just need more time to be more sure about my decision. I don't want to rush, though it's getting late. I have to decide soon. 

    Right now, I'm aiming to go to a psychology major later in university. I'm interested in personality, humans, mental health, and mental illness. It also feels like knowing about myself more. Human behavior, human emotions, etc. Those are what get me excited. There are plenty of books in my house to study psychology. Though the important thing is how I'd get there, which is through UTBK or other ways. It won't be a piece of cake of course. I am going to study very seriously for this one, it's for my future anyway. I don't think the studying part is the most difficult, but being mentally and physically healthy are. To keep on going consistently, day by day for months, studying. To stay focused and be optimistic about the outcome. Things will get challenging. I'm pretty sure rough days will come and I am going to have to go through them. I may break, I may not, but I must not. I pray to God to always give me strength and wisdom. 

    That's the first option, actually. Not a small amount of possibilities that it won't change. You know, I really enjoy drawing. Imagining things and realizing them. It's making me happy in some way. Like I have created something. I'd say that my imaginations are wild. That's also channeled through my writing. Though, most of the time, I draw and write my emotions. It's a healthy way, I think and it's beautiful. I once thought of going to an art major, such as Visual Communication Design or Animation. But I don't have enough faith in myself. I love my arts though, don't get me wrong. My consideration is, will it be really as fun as right now when I do it to achieve my dreams? When I have to fit my art into such criteria in university, will it be as meaningful? I'm not so sure.

    I also wanted to be a theatre kid. I've performed several times. It was really amusing and thrilling to get out of your character and pretend to be somebody else for a while. The new expression, new you. Very fun experience, but I think I'd just do it for fun. 

    I think that's all for now. Lots of things to enjoy in life, but not all of them are meant to be taken seriously. Some are there to color your life. It won't just be black, or white, it'll be the descendant of the rainbow. I'll come back when I have more for you!